Sunday, June 08, 2008

Anticipation has a habit of setting you up for disappointment

Alas, victory was not ours. Not even within our grasp. No, the life had been sucked from our heroes by vampire fish who had stolen the previous night away. The lamb had been slaughtered by a belt high fastball and plague was upon us.

My how the mighty have fallen. A 2-9 record. The difference between last place and third. I don't buy the speculation that Harang's poor outing today is a result of the relief outing (which was his best pitching performance of the year, by the way.) He's been unHaranglike all season, and this run of really bad starts dates to before the relief appearance. Those speculators are like screeching robins trying to protect an empty nest, not aware that there are two broken blue eggs spilling liquid chick onto the green grass below it. The crows are calling my name, thought Caw.

But instead of dwelling on disheartening defeats or pouring Salsa from Hell's habanero sauce into deep wounds, I'd like to direct your attention to the NY Times' ballpark food guide. It tells you what to order and what to avoid.

For Cincinnati, it says:
What to order: A cheese coney from Skyline...This local concoction, topped with chili, mustard, onions, and cheese, is a Cincinnati delicacy, and this version from Skyline is arguably the city's favorite. Is that cinnamon or chocolate in the chili? Don't bother asking; it's a family secret.

What to avoid: Funnachos. There's nothing fun or nacho-like about this gloppy pile of flavorless chips, processed liquid cheese and jalepenos from a can.
I agree! Those nachos are pathetic. They need some Taaaco Fiiiilliiings on top. JaaaaaaaaaaaaTeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeMmmmm...

My favorite one of all the parks is the White Sox park:

What to order: Nothing. Your best bet is to bring a six pack to the parking lot and barter a cold one for a tailgater's hotdog. Failing that, a box of Cracker Jack.

What to avoid: Everything.
Whenever you're feeling good and hungry...

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