Thursday, January 17, 2008

Icicles drip from his eyes

Once their was a magical kingdom full of beautiful green fields, happy people, a free flow of beer and hot dogs, and Cincinnati caps in the Cincinnati area rather than Boston and New York caps. Everyone was relatively equal, though some were more equal than others. Over time, the kingdom fell into decay, partially due to the hideous uniforms of the royal court - hideously colored polyester things that symbolized the ugliness that was taking place in the kingdom. A tragedy occurred one year and the royal court went on strike, and less than a decade and a half later, they did it again. The people of the kingdom forgot what their happiness had been like and rebelled. Some stayed away from the green fields for years. Some still haven't gone back.

There were scandals during the ugly uniform times, many scandals, some involving drugs, and a big one involving gambling, which led to the downfall of one of the highest members of the royal court. The king at the time was a vile creature, as vile as the cursed hebenon juice. A leperous distilment of stress did strike him dead, and a new vile creature took over the kingdom. But the dukes of the land organized a coup, appointing one of their very own as a "temporary" king. Thus one Allen H. Selig became ruler, despite his obvious conflict of interest as the Duke of Milwaukee.

That was five years short of a score ago, but a score it will be when he now says he will step down. An incompetent tyrant he became during his rule, overseeing that second strike, the destruction of tradition, and the second greatest tragedy in the history of the kingdom, a tragedy he knew was happening before his eyes, yet he ignored it. Despite this tragedy, he told the world that he would extend his rule three years beyond what he told everybody he would.

The people would have wept for the loss of their happiness to a dictator, but most of them had stopped caring, because they had not the attention span or necessary intelligence to appreciate the happiness that the kingdom had once appreciated. One of the strongest threads in the social fabric had broken long ago, and not many seemed interested in repairing it. Jesterly fools now rule. Welcome to the Tragic Kingdom.

What a National Disgrace.
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