Friday, May 05, 2006

Why is this man so angry?

Wouldn't you be, too, if your team was so awful?

Why do the Pirates get no sympathy from me while the Royals get a fan? Well, I'm holding a grudge against all of those people who said the Pirates were going to finish above the Reds.

So, take that, Pirates! Every loss of yours is sweet! (Unless you are a Pirates fan who did not say the Reds would finish beneath you, then you have my sympathies!)

Some notes on the Nats defeat of the Bucs:

Nick Johnson hit two bombs. In RFK. What's this about the fences?

Bucs Dugout
does not have nice things to say about the Nats and Zach Day. Zach Day dominated the Bucs, so ha!

Bo Derek was spotted in the crowd wearing a Nats cap. She normally roots for the bad guys, so this is a marked improvement.

Tweedledum and Tweedledee, who have unfortunately been the Nats television announcers this season, just had this exchange:
BC: Albert Pujols has just hit his 16th homer of the year.
TP: He's really good.
Can we say "duh?"

It could be worse.

Yes, Nats fans, it could be worse. Despite Washington's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad start, we have a little thing called hope. See, Royals fans have none of that. The box was opened long ago, and this season is lost forever. Joe Posnanski of the Kansas City Star writes today about hitting his breaking point. Poor Joe says:
Ten years, we’ve watched the Royals try out softball pitchers, get hit in the back with relay throws, fall off bases on pickoff attempts, jog toward dugouts while fly balls drop behind them, slash payroll, send out incorrect lineup cards, injure themselves in home-plate celebrations and sacrifice innocent young pitchers at Yankee Stadium.
Dear Joe, we feel your pain. Fortunately, the Nats have players. The Nats have Jose Vidro and Nick Johnson and Jose Guillen and John Patterson and Chad Cordero. The Nats have a new owner and are building a new stadium. What do the Royals have? Doug Mientkiewicz? Yes, Nats fans, we still have hope, and here's to a three game sweep of the equally pathetic Pirates to jump start a nice, lengthy winning streak. (Don't forget to get your Crud Light cap at the ballpark tomorrow!)

So I'm jumping on the Kansas City bandwagon, because it's empty now. I'm going to check their scores every day with the hope that maybe they'll start playing like a Major League team. I'll root on Mark Teahan and Ambiorix Burgos and Jimmy Gobble. And know, dear, pathetic Royals, you have someone cheering for you out there.

2 comments:

Kelvin said...

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DevilsAdvocate said...

Well, it's Mark Teahen, as seen in Moneyball - and you probably shouldn't waste too much energy rooting for him, as he may be replaced very soon with the fast-up-and-coming Alex Gordon.