Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Trash talking with myself

Me, Reds fan: Why'd the Nats even bother to show up? I mean, they are the third worst team in the Majors, and the Reds are the second best.

Me, Nats fan: Second best? What about those errors? I mean, your shortstop alone has made 8 errors!

Me, Reds fan: You want to talk about errors? How about that second baseman playing leftfield?

Me, Nats fan: He's not much worse than your leftfielder, and he hits a lot more often.

Me, Reds fan: Oh, you mean Soriano's .298 average compared to Dunn's .248? What about Dunn's .404 OBP to Soriano's .336? Or Dunn's 11 homers to Soriano's 9? Or Dunn's 29 runs to Soriano's 18?

Me, Nats fan: That's only two homers fewer. It's higher than everyone else on your team.

Me, Reds fan: Yeah, well what about the Reds' 46 longballs to the Nats' 37? Or the Reds' team average of .267 to the Nats' .251? Or the Reds' 176 runs scored to the Nats' 138? And how about the records? 21-11. What's your pathetic record? Didn't you guys get swept by the AAA Fish?

Me, Nats fan: Well, you lost two to the D'backs!

Me, Reds fan: They're in first place!

Me, Nats fan: Ooh, look at that - that guy with the huge ears just hit into a double play! He looks like Happy, the Baby New Year, from Rudolph's Shiny New Year! What's up with your offense?

Me, Reds fan: At least we have an offense!

Me, Nats fan: Well, look who just scored first! Hmph!

Me, Reds fan: Just wait. Y'all will get crushed. Can we please see Eischen in this game? We'd like to pad our NL leading home run total a bit.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Nats - 1
Reds - 0

*only counts games played in May 2006*

ashlee said...

LoL... nice sample size... Now, let's look at the whole picture:

Nats - 2
Reds - 8

*counts all games played in 2005 and 2006*